In a series of YouTube videos entitled "That's what she said," SoulPancake and Darling Magazine addressed a group of issues I honestly believe all women deal with and think about (or avoid thinking about). I've decided to do my own series of blogs in response to the videos. The first was posted on January 15 of this year. The focus? Beauty and Body Image. You can watch the video here:
"85% of girls ages 8-10 believe they are "overweight"
45% have already started dieting
In the past decade, the number of girls under the age of 10 that are hospitalized for eating disorders has doubled"
Reading these statistics always shocks me. I've rewatched this video so many times and still these numbers blow my mind. But then again I was in the 8th grade when I first tried a "diet." Then I realize maybe it isn't so unbelievable.
"I wanna talk about the first time that we felt not good enough physically."
I was a giant as a child. I earned the nickname Jazz-illa in the fourth grade. And somehow, in my girl-brain, giant meant fat. Now when I look back at middle school photos, I realize I was actually very thin compared to various other times in my life... But middle school Jasmine didn't see that. Middle school Jasmine dwelled on that time her crush compared her to Godzilla, and when the girl I had been friends with the previous year sat behind me for story time and kept undoing the top part of the zipper on the back of my skirt, laughing with the girl next to her saying something about my size.
I note these things because I'm an adult now but I still remember them distinctly. And they still sting. I still cringe thinking about how they made me feel and how an entire lifetime has been built on moments like them from when I was 7 to 9 years old. As if they were life-altering events, when they should have rolled off my childhood shoulders. But we live in a world of comparison and girls start judging as soon as they feel they're supposed to.
At one point in time, I started trying to always when I was feeling down on myself or something, try and pick a single thing I was proud of or happy with on my body... And it worked a lot of the time. Yet girl-brain being what it is, I would pick my thing to be proud of just to then point out what wasn't good about it. (For instance, I like my adorable nose... except that it has break outs a lot.) I get so wrapped up in what I don't have, I overlook what I DO. Comparison is absolutely the thief of joy. I do just like Kelli in the video and will compare without even realizing it to people around me I have no reason to be comparing us. It's the most frustrating thing in the world and one of the hardest habits to break.
"When do you feel the most beautiful?"
This was such a hard question for me... but after some thought, I think I have a couple of answers. I'm not sure which is more-so because they're very different situations and happen usually on very different days. I feel beautiful when I have an important day ahead of me and find the perfect outfit and makeup for the day... Recently I had a job interview where I woke up early enough to eat breakfast while I watched a little TV, then did my makeup, curled my hair and put on a very nice outfit I had picked out the night before, and left in time to be early. I wasn't in a rush, I felt prepared, I wasn't frazzled. I daresay I wasn't even all that nervous. I felt so beautiful that I walked in confident and ready to go when normally I don't have that, especially for interview-type situations. It was awesome.
More commonly though, I feel beautiful in those moments when I'm surrounded by my family and we are sitting together, usually after whatever the big event we gathered for was (Easter or Christmas celebrations, weddings, funerals, you-name-it). We've already eaten and handled "business" and gossip and are just sitting around shooting the breeze with each other. Talking about all kinds of things, laughing, just being together. Those moments where we forget the things that are troubling us and just ARE, together. I love those moments. That pure joy and love makes me feel my most beautiful.
It's in moments like those I believe what Natalie says. That I, too, have a beautiful body.
