In a series of YouTube videos entitled "That's what she said," SoulPancake and Darling Magazine addressed a group of issues I honestly believe all women deal with and think about (or avoid thinking about). I've decided to do my own series of blogs in response to the videos. The first was posted on January 15 of this year. The focus? Beauty and Body Image. You can watch the video here:
"85% of girls ages 8-10 believe they are "overweight"
45% have already started dieting
In the past decade, the number of girls under the age of 10 that are hospitalized for eating disorders has doubled"
Reading these statistics always shocks me. I've rewatched this video so many times and still these numbers blow my mind. But then again I was in the 8th grade when I first tried a "diet." Then I realize maybe it isn't so unbelievable.
"I wanna talk about the first time that we felt not good enough physically."
I was a giant as a child. I earned the nickname Jazz-illa in the fourth grade. And somehow, in my girl-brain, giant meant fat. Now when I look back at middle school photos, I realize I was actually very thin compared to various other times in my life... But middle school Jasmine didn't see that. Middle school Jasmine dwelled on that time her crush compared her to Godzilla, and when the girl I had been friends with the previous year sat behind me for story time and kept undoing the top part of the zipper on the back of my skirt, laughing with the girl next to her saying something about my size.
I note these things because I'm an adult now but I still remember them distinctly. And they still sting. I still cringe thinking about how they made me feel and how an entire lifetime has been built on moments like them from when I was 7 to 9 years old. As if they were life-altering events, when they should have rolled off my childhood shoulders. But we live in a world of comparison and girls start judging as soon as they feel they're supposed to.
At one point in time, I started trying to always when I was feeling down on myself or something, try and pick a single thing I was proud of or happy with on my body... And it worked a lot of the time. Yet girl-brain being what it is, I would pick my thing to be proud of just to then point out what wasn't good about it. (For instance, I like my adorable nose... except that it has break outs a lot.) I get so wrapped up in what I don't have, I overlook what I DO. Comparison is absolutely the thief of joy. I do just like Kelli in the video and will compare without even realizing it to people around me I have no reason to be comparing us. It's the most frustrating thing in the world and one of the hardest habits to break.
"When do you feel the most beautiful?"
This was such a hard question for me... but after some thought, I think I have a couple of answers. I'm not sure which is more-so because they're very different situations and happen usually on very different days. I feel beautiful when I have an important day ahead of me and find the perfect outfit and makeup for the day... Recently I had a job interview where I woke up early enough to eat breakfast while I watched a little TV, then did my makeup, curled my hair and put on a very nice outfit I had picked out the night before, and left in time to be early. I wasn't in a rush, I felt prepared, I wasn't frazzled. I daresay I wasn't even all that nervous. I felt so beautiful that I walked in confident and ready to go when normally I don't have that, especially for interview-type situations. It was awesome.
More commonly though, I feel beautiful in those moments when I'm surrounded by my family and we are sitting together, usually after whatever the big event we gathered for was (Easter or Christmas celebrations, weddings, funerals, you-name-it). We've already eaten and handled "business" and gossip and are just sitting around shooting the breeze with each other. Talking about all kinds of things, laughing, just being together. Those moments where we forget the things that are troubling us and just ARE, together. I love those moments. That pure joy and love makes me feel my most beautiful.
It's in moments like those I believe what Natalie says. That I, too, have a beautiful body.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Home!
We're no longer homeless!! Yes, this post is indeed a wee bit late because of various things including my internet not getting installed (lonnnng story) and unpacking junk... every time we move I realize yet again just how much we need to downsize. I am far too sentimental for my own good given the lifestyle we've taken up.
Alas, here's how this went. We had gotten a storage unit up here to hold our stuff until we found a place to live. So we unloaded our Uhaul and returned it. Then once we found a place, we tried to rent another Uhaul to minimize the number of trips to and from town. Well, turns out every Uhaul in town was rented that weekend so we just made seven trips instead (some of which were made with not one, but two vehicles). Real smart, huh? But we got it unloaded and returned the storage key (that was weird. Usually have to supply my own lock and key. I have quite the lock stash at the moment...). The same day we managed to unload the unit we also stayed up late to set up all the furniture since Dustin was leaving the following day to go out of town. So all the big stuff was set up and ready right away. Then I spent the week trying to find a place for all the little things. Still working on that. But my living room at least looks pretty awesome. Knowing the theme and sticking with it makes that room so much easier...
I'm at the point again when we move somewhere new I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. I hate that stage of moving. I should write that. "The Seven Emotional Stages of Moving" or however many there would be... stress, anger, breakdown, giving up... Who knows, it's probably already a thing. I'll google it later.
The dogs and I have a busy day tomorrow. Baths and a vet appointment. I've never taken them both at the same time. I'm sure that will be an adventure. Poor things. They'll surely hate me before the day is through. Or just cover me with kisses when it's over because they're so grateful to be free again. hehehe
This is going to be a short post since I need to go to bed so I can be up uber early, love. Thanks for catching up with me. I'll write again soon.
Later daze,
Jasmine
Alas, here's how this went. We had gotten a storage unit up here to hold our stuff until we found a place to live. So we unloaded our Uhaul and returned it. Then once we found a place, we tried to rent another Uhaul to minimize the number of trips to and from town. Well, turns out every Uhaul in town was rented that weekend so we just made seven trips instead (some of which were made with not one, but two vehicles). Real smart, huh? But we got it unloaded and returned the storage key (that was weird. Usually have to supply my own lock and key. I have quite the lock stash at the moment...). The same day we managed to unload the unit we also stayed up late to set up all the furniture since Dustin was leaving the following day to go out of town. So all the big stuff was set up and ready right away. Then I spent the week trying to find a place for all the little things. Still working on that. But my living room at least looks pretty awesome. Knowing the theme and sticking with it makes that room so much easier...
I'm at the point again when we move somewhere new I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. I hate that stage of moving. I should write that. "The Seven Emotional Stages of Moving" or however many there would be... stress, anger, breakdown, giving up... Who knows, it's probably already a thing. I'll google it later.
The dogs and I have a busy day tomorrow. Baths and a vet appointment. I've never taken them both at the same time. I'm sure that will be an adventure. Poor things. They'll surely hate me before the day is through. Or just cover me with kisses when it's over because they're so grateful to be free again. hehehe
This is going to be a short post since I need to go to bed so I can be up uber early, love. Thanks for catching up with me. I'll write again soon.
Later daze,
Jasmine
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Still homeless.
Our place isn't ready yet... So here's hoping we'll stop being homeless before this week is out. They said mid-week but we haven't heard anything new. And since it's Tuesday, there's no telling... Fingers crossed.
I'm very much over hotel living... and not really having somewhere to take the dogs to get a bath. Cause we went to the park the other day... it had rained and the pups found the creek. Splashed around a bit, then found a tree stump with some lovely smelling something on it (it didn't really smell lovely. It was like death. Which is why they need a good bath now). We gave them a bath at the hotel, but I don't think it quite did the trick. And Charles needs a good tooth brushing. His breath is BAD.
They're super bored with hotel life.
We attempted to look for new bikes today (it's our anniversary gift to each other) but the sports store we went to had not a single bike inside. They don't do that. So we didn't get to even look. Boo. Strike one. We'll try again elsewhere.
Yesterday was fun. Turns out it was John Wayne's birthday. And as it happens, we are staying only an hour from his birthplace. They have made his childhood home a museum and had a big celebration all weekend. Monday was his actual birthday though, and since it was Memorial Day, Dustin was off, so we went. It was cute. The lady who gave us the tour though kept saying "well y'all probably don't know who any of these people are." She mentioned Maureen O'Hara and Jimmy Stewart. Don't tell me I don't know Jimmy Stewart <3. But anyways, she was very sweet overall though. We got a cool mug with one of his worthy quotes on it. Got some pictures in front of the house and such. No photos were allowed inside, but it was awesome. Had the original wood floors and wood door and window frames. Very pretty.
Turns out John Wayne was born in Madison County... as in The Bridges of Madison County. So we also went and found one of the six remaining bridges to document. We plan to see the others on another trip sometime. We also saw this adorable stone school house. It's bigger than I would have thought, and we couldn't go inside, but was still quite fun to see. You can see pictures from the adventure on my Instagram (http://instagram.com/jasminemallet), or if we're friends on Facebook ;)
We've decided to exhaust any and all possible enjoyable Iowa travels in the year we're here. Then we never feel a need to come back. ;) Hehehe. Dustin thinks it would be cool to just always move every couple of years after we've exhausted the region and explore a new one. This is an interesting idea. Until you remember that means we have to pack up our crap and leap across the country every two years or so...
I need to get a job... I'm distracted though because Dustin is going somewhere next week I want to go, too... So maybe that'll happen.
Oh! And I may get to meet Kevin Costner. Realistic chances of that may be slim to none, but let's just say it's the anniversary of a very awesome movie he was in and we're going to the celebration! So who knows? It could happen... Sadly my dad can't join us. He would have loved it.
But anyway. This may be our last night in this hotel, so I'm going to go clean up some of our junk.
Later daze!
Jasmine
I'm very much over hotel living... and not really having somewhere to take the dogs to get a bath. Cause we went to the park the other day... it had rained and the pups found the creek. Splashed around a bit, then found a tree stump with some lovely smelling something on it (it didn't really smell lovely. It was like death. Which is why they need a good bath now). We gave them a bath at the hotel, but I don't think it quite did the trick. And Charles needs a good tooth brushing. His breath is BAD.
They're super bored with hotel life.
We attempted to look for new bikes today (it's our anniversary gift to each other) but the sports store we went to had not a single bike inside. They don't do that. So we didn't get to even look. Boo. Strike one. We'll try again elsewhere.
Yesterday was fun. Turns out it was John Wayne's birthday. And as it happens, we are staying only an hour from his birthplace. They have made his childhood home a museum and had a big celebration all weekend. Monday was his actual birthday though, and since it was Memorial Day, Dustin was off, so we went. It was cute. The lady who gave us the tour though kept saying "well y'all probably don't know who any of these people are." She mentioned Maureen O'Hara and Jimmy Stewart. Don't tell me I don't know Jimmy Stewart <3. But anyways, she was very sweet overall though. We got a cool mug with one of his worthy quotes on it. Got some pictures in front of the house and such. No photos were allowed inside, but it was awesome. Had the original wood floors and wood door and window frames. Very pretty.
Turns out John Wayne was born in Madison County... as in The Bridges of Madison County. So we also went and found one of the six remaining bridges to document. We plan to see the others on another trip sometime. We also saw this adorable stone school house. It's bigger than I would have thought, and we couldn't go inside, but was still quite fun to see. You can see pictures from the adventure on my Instagram (http://instagram.com/jasminemallet), or if we're friends on Facebook ;)
We've decided to exhaust any and all possible enjoyable Iowa travels in the year we're here. Then we never feel a need to come back. ;) Hehehe. Dustin thinks it would be cool to just always move every couple of years after we've exhausted the region and explore a new one. This is an interesting idea. Until you remember that means we have to pack up our crap and leap across the country every two years or so...
I need to get a job... I'm distracted though because Dustin is going somewhere next week I want to go, too... So maybe that'll happen.
Oh! And I may get to meet Kevin Costner. Realistic chances of that may be slim to none, but let's just say it's the anniversary of a very awesome movie he was in and we're going to the celebration! So who knows? It could happen... Sadly my dad can't join us. He would have loved it.
But anyway. This may be our last night in this hotel, so I'm going to go clean up some of our junk.
Later daze!
Jasmine
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Moving on up...
Hello there!
It's been a while. I haven't written much in a while. According to this site, not since 2012... That, is a very long time ago... But. I'm back. Sort of. See, it's been kind of a whirlwind of a life. The hubs and I got married in 2011. That year I lived part time in Virginia and part time in Alabama. Then we lived for almost a year mostly together in Virginia. Then we lived for almost a year in Alabama together. And now we actually aren't in either of those states anymore. Yes, friend. We have moved yet again. It's kind of our thing, I guess. I am currently sitting in a hotel in Iowa. Yeah. Iowa. And I won't deny I am not exactly thrilled about this. But, in keeping with our life story, it is only for a year. But more on all that some other time.
I have found I deal better with life when I write about it. And seeing as I haven't written in so long, perhaps this is why I have been kind of all over the place emotionally here lately. So the plan is to write about it. So let's chat. Today, I'd like to share a bit with you about moving.
I hate moving. Not because I'm against new places or experiences. Not because I don't love a good roadtrip. I hate moving because we always end up doing it ourselves. Bless my man's heart. I don't understand how he can have moved as often as he has (thanks, Navy) and still be so bad at it. I just don't understand. I finished my last week at work and we had a week to get packed up and moved across the country again, and still we were late leaving, rushing to get going and having to leave stuff behind. Now don't get me wrong, we have way too much crap. I know this. He knows this. And we're working on it. Each move leads to throwing more stuff out and going through stuff. But we still have a TON of stuff. Like a 10x30 foot storage unit full. Oh em gee. We have a lot of crap...
But I digress. So the hubs has moved basically ten times (at least) in his adult life... and still sucks at it. His way to move is tossing everything in tubs to throw in a truck and start driving. So now that he's actually got me to make him have grown up furniture and such, he has no clue what to do. You mean we don't just donate the furniture to Goodwill and start over? No. No we don't. He would look at me like "so what do we need to do?" and I'd just stare back confused. "I don't know, you've done this a dozen times. You tell me!" And so went the last week we were in Bama. Him looking confused or saying it would all fit and me knowing he was wrong and not helping. L.o.l.
The day we loaded the Uhaul trailer was an adventure in itself. Nothing like getting only a portion of stuff loaded and realizing after you've already downsized and decided to leave your dining table and chairs, linen chest, dog toy box, bookshelves and virtually all your books behind that you STILL don't have enough room for what's left. So more little things get left like some of your favorite wall hangings and blank canvases that were just begging to be painted. The husband's saw he had finally gotten excited about using again (he wanted to build birdhouses). *sigh* It got very frustrating. I cried. A few times... (like I said. Emotional.) Luckily we have awesome family who helped. His mom packed up virtually my entire kitchen. (savior) My sister brought me more boxes. My dad helped hubs play Tetris to fill the Uhaul. My mom offered emotional support most of all, but also helped me throw the little stuff we had yet to pack into boxes to be added to the Tetris matrix. And no one killed me. And I didn't kill hubs. #success
Then the road trip up here was ridiculously long because we had to drive superrrrr sloooooow since the trailer shouldn't go above 55. (We tried for 60) I need to go faster than that. A 14 hr drive should not take 18. It just shouldn't. I'm too impatient (and too much of a speed demon) for that. I like to try to beat that ETA, not watch it increase by hours. Thank God for my dear friend Bri. Her hubs had gotten her a ticket to come home to Bama after finishing school as a celebration. He got it one way so she could ride back to Iowa with us. (Yes. There is another couple mostly from AL who decided to move here for some strange reason...) She kept me awake and entertained so the slow ride was at least tolerable.
But we made it to Iowa. We're alive and I guess that's something (especially considering the number of times I threatened to murder husband in the past two weeks). And we have found a place to live (albeit in the middle of nowhere. That's the problem with Iowa. If you're not in the capital, you're basically in the middle of nowhere. I got lost the other day [because maps doesn't even care about Iowa so it can't find you... or the state for that matter] and Dustin asked what I was around. "Fields! I'm surrounded by fields. I can't even see houses attached to those fields, daggummit! This is why I'm lost! There's literally nothing to identify what state I'm in except the neverending fields so I must still be in Iowa!" [I'm full of Iowa jokes at the moment, can you tell?]) and are chilling in a hotel for another week or thereabouts. So that's fun. I like hotels. Someone else cleans. Yay. (We had a maid for a period of time back in VA when we had roommates and I refused to be responsible for everyone's mess. That was nice. I miss that...) We did somehow manage to find the only hotel I've ever seen where there is no minifridge or microwave in the rooms though. So that's weird. I'm eating a lot of Subway. But that's cool. I like Subway. Eat fresh, friends.
Anyway. That's where we're at. Now I need a job so we can pay off my student loans during this year in purgatory. I currently have the number of a temp agency I'm supposed to call. Wee.
Thanks for reading a rant, friend. You're awesome. Next time we'll can discuss my new mission. I keep seeing people's #100happydays posts and think maybe I should get on board with this. I'm a negative Nancy lately and no one likes that.
Later daze,
Jasmine
It's been a while. I haven't written much in a while. According to this site, not since 2012... That, is a very long time ago... But. I'm back. Sort of. See, it's been kind of a whirlwind of a life. The hubs and I got married in 2011. That year I lived part time in Virginia and part time in Alabama. Then we lived for almost a year mostly together in Virginia. Then we lived for almost a year in Alabama together. And now we actually aren't in either of those states anymore. Yes, friend. We have moved yet again. It's kind of our thing, I guess. I am currently sitting in a hotel in Iowa. Yeah. Iowa. And I won't deny I am not exactly thrilled about this. But, in keeping with our life story, it is only for a year. But more on all that some other time.
I have found I deal better with life when I write about it. And seeing as I haven't written in so long, perhaps this is why I have been kind of all over the place emotionally here lately. So the plan is to write about it. So let's chat. Today, I'd like to share a bit with you about moving.
I hate moving. Not because I'm against new places or experiences. Not because I don't love a good roadtrip. I hate moving because we always end up doing it ourselves. Bless my man's heart. I don't understand how he can have moved as often as he has (thanks, Navy) and still be so bad at it. I just don't understand. I finished my last week at work and we had a week to get packed up and moved across the country again, and still we were late leaving, rushing to get going and having to leave stuff behind. Now don't get me wrong, we have way too much crap. I know this. He knows this. And we're working on it. Each move leads to throwing more stuff out and going through stuff. But we still have a TON of stuff. Like a 10x30 foot storage unit full. Oh em gee. We have a lot of crap...
But I digress. So the hubs has moved basically ten times (at least) in his adult life... and still sucks at it. His way to move is tossing everything in tubs to throw in a truck and start driving. So now that he's actually got me to make him have grown up furniture and such, he has no clue what to do. You mean we don't just donate the furniture to Goodwill and start over? No. No we don't. He would look at me like "so what do we need to do?" and I'd just stare back confused. "I don't know, you've done this a dozen times. You tell me!" And so went the last week we were in Bama. Him looking confused or saying it would all fit and me knowing he was wrong and not helping. L.o.l.
The day we loaded the Uhaul trailer was an adventure in itself. Nothing like getting only a portion of stuff loaded and realizing after you've already downsized and decided to leave your dining table and chairs, linen chest, dog toy box, bookshelves and virtually all your books behind that you STILL don't have enough room for what's left. So more little things get left like some of your favorite wall hangings and blank canvases that were just begging to be painted. The husband's saw he had finally gotten excited about using again (he wanted to build birdhouses). *sigh* It got very frustrating. I cried. A few times... (like I said. Emotional.) Luckily we have awesome family who helped. His mom packed up virtually my entire kitchen. (savior) My sister brought me more boxes. My dad helped hubs play Tetris to fill the Uhaul. My mom offered emotional support most of all, but also helped me throw the little stuff we had yet to pack into boxes to be added to the Tetris matrix. And no one killed me. And I didn't kill hubs. #success
Then the road trip up here was ridiculously long because we had to drive superrrrr sloooooow since the trailer shouldn't go above 55. (We tried for 60) I need to go faster than that. A 14 hr drive should not take 18. It just shouldn't. I'm too impatient (and too much of a speed demon) for that. I like to try to beat that ETA, not watch it increase by hours. Thank God for my dear friend Bri. Her hubs had gotten her a ticket to come home to Bama after finishing school as a celebration. He got it one way so she could ride back to Iowa with us. (Yes. There is another couple mostly from AL who decided to move here for some strange reason...) She kept me awake and entertained so the slow ride was at least tolerable.
But we made it to Iowa. We're alive and I guess that's something (especially considering the number of times I threatened to murder husband in the past two weeks). And we have found a place to live (albeit in the middle of nowhere. That's the problem with Iowa. If you're not in the capital, you're basically in the middle of nowhere. I got lost the other day [because maps doesn't even care about Iowa so it can't find you... or the state for that matter] and Dustin asked what I was around. "Fields! I'm surrounded by fields. I can't even see houses attached to those fields, daggummit! This is why I'm lost! There's literally nothing to identify what state I'm in except the neverending fields so I must still be in Iowa!" [I'm full of Iowa jokes at the moment, can you tell?]) and are chilling in a hotel for another week or thereabouts. So that's fun. I like hotels. Someone else cleans. Yay. (We had a maid for a period of time back in VA when we had roommates and I refused to be responsible for everyone's mess. That was nice. I miss that...) We did somehow manage to find the only hotel I've ever seen where there is no minifridge or microwave in the rooms though. So that's weird. I'm eating a lot of Subway. But that's cool. I like Subway. Eat fresh, friends.
Anyway. That's where we're at. Now I need a job so we can pay off my student loans during this year in purgatory. I currently have the number of a temp agency I'm supposed to call. Wee.
Thanks for reading a rant, friend. You're awesome. Next time we'll can discuss my new mission. I keep seeing people's #100happydays posts and think maybe I should get on board with this. I'm a negative Nancy lately and no one likes that.
Later daze,
Jasmine
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